HATCH at HOME: ShiShi Rose
We recently had the pleasure of getting to know a few HATCH mamas in real life here in New York City. They invited us into their homes, at all stages of pregnancy (and postpartum!), to chat through the different ways they arrived at motherhood, their highs and lows, and their go-to pregnancy beauty products. Above all else, they kept it real real. And that’s what we love most about our HATCH community.
This week, meet ShiShi Rose: writer, advocate, speaker, doula, and educator. As a Doula, ShiShi helps birthing people make the transition into parenthood, but it wasn’t until her own experience with pregnancy that she realized how nuanced the experience is — and how much work there is still to be done in this space. Keep reading to learn more about ShiShi and the issues dearest to her —issues that effect all of us as mothers and parents.
What surprised you the most about pregnancy?
I wouldn’t say it surprised me, more so it was just a fact that I had to get used to. I never fully realized how deeply isolating pregnancy and parenthood could be… and how accepted that is. As a Doula, it’s in my job description to support the choices of birthing people and assist them in having better outcomes — and so much of their experience is often belittled or talked over. Sometimes the biggest way I can give support is to just give them different wording than what is being fed to them repeatedly and to validate their experiences. A common theme after a traumatic birth is people saying, “at least you survived” or “the baby is fine, that’s all that matters.” Basically, we accept that suffering is just a part of birth and parenting and we keep telling people that all that matters is to be alive, not how you got there or how hard that was to achieve.
So one thing that is hard for me, is that we’ve just adjusted to the idea that pregnancy and parenthood should not only encompass suffering but that isolation and doing everything alone should be a part of that. Most humans today don’t really know what community is and the most vulnerable people — those who are creating life — are getting left behind. And it bothers me more, I think, when I look at the world around us, how troubling it is. There is pain everywhere and no one ever thinks to relate that back to the source, the beginning of life. We keep expecting parents to put good and decent adults into the world, adults who uplift others and leave this place better than it was when they entered it, but we don’t offer any support in the building of that adult. I hope to see changes in this as time goes on.
Advice to your pre-pregnancy self?
“You got this.” I say that to myself and my baby daily. I know that no matter what happens, I can handle it and I will.
Your pregnancy style in one word:
I can’t sum it up in one word, it’s more like “Not Wearing Pants.” That’s pretty much the only way to live at this point.
What do you LOVE about being pregnant?
Baby kicks! Even when they hurt. Oh and also talking to my baby and getting kicked in response. It’s the cutest thing ever and makes me even more excited to meet this little nugget face to face next month.